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Twelve Months

by Curious Quail

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1.
Resolutions 03:22
Bleary headed and clouded eyes as you open up a day planner for the first time as an adult People expect you to write shit in it and remember it later and check it often but you know that'll never work But you pick up your favorite pen and write down that 3:15 appointment with your doctor. Move your hand and the ink smudges so you won't recognize your own handwriting the next time you look You've already fucked up. But You'll get a new one Next year You'll get a new one Next year Productivity screeching to a halt on that project you've been dedicating your time to You're already blocked But three pages deep in a letter to your uncle explaining why calling an entire class of people 'lazy' is a form of casual racism And sure it’s good to try to do that but these resolutions you made to get more shit done You broke them so fast But you'll make a new one Next year (You broke them so fast) You'll make a new one Next year (You broke them so fast) You'll make a new one Next year (You broke them so fast) You'll make a new one Next year
2.
Abandon Ship 02:21
Hard to believe that you have grown so detached This smell of hope has turned to ash You think it’s easy to exist like this Out in the world that you have crashed Hold the phone And fix this now Repair somehow Or you’re repeating history We'll just be sinkin' on this ship Or we can try to Do Better Though it doesn't matter in your eyes We'll just be sinkin' on this ship Or we can try to Be Better Though it doesn't matter in your eyes In your eyes We'll just be sinkin' on this ship Or we can try to Do Better Though it doesn't matter in your eyes We'll just be sinkin' on this ship Or we can try to Be Better Though it doesn't matter in your eyes
3.
He said he was an orphan I guess I should’ve known more then But you know I want to see the best in everyone She gave him places to sleep Before the waters got too deep But what happened after no one could predict She said he was an orphan But clearly he wanted more than Whatever sob story would suffice Then she told us he'd be leavin but we found his body in the evenin' Oh what The Hell She'd agonize Over one thousand lies That should've been drowned at sea Before we were ever there No one should have to live like this Hiding just to exist We’d all have been drowned at sea Before he would even care At first she tried to cover Stories leading to another But our faces clearly were not buyin' shit She relented and went further Explained that he was there to hurt her And we had to admit she had No choice She said that there were others Always changing their cover And all they want to do is live in peace But then a sound in the doorway And she disappeared completely Oh What Next? We'd agonize Over one thousand lies That shoulda been drowned at sea Before we were ever there No one should have to live like this Hiding just to exist We'd all have been drowned at sea If she were never there
4.
Tired Open window stings your tired face How long's it been since laughter was replaced All these things just end in our disgrace No I won't give up so easily There may be nothin' as far as we can see But we're not alone No we're not alone I know it feels like we have had enough And all these things are empty to the touch But We're not alone No we're not alone Though we may be fallin' deeper still I'll hold on if you promise that you will Stop I swear we've already seen that truck Can I just say this rest stop fuckin' sucks But we will be safe Rain Sheets of water pourin' through these holes We shoulda fixed 'em weeks ago, I know Hindsight must be laughin’ I suppose But No We won't give up so easily And though this may be the end of all we see Well we're not alone No we're not alone I know it feels like we have had enough When everything is empty to the touch But We're not alone No we're not alone Though we may be fallin' deeper still I'll hold on if you promise that you will
5.
Stretchers and Nurses and You just sit there waitin Coin in and Food out and Pattern goes on repeatin' You'll eat whatever You can find here The hours Tick by and Still you are left here guessin' If they are even Still alive Pace in a circle waitin' And curse these fluorescent lights "No News Is Good News" they say you'll break that door with your eyes The doctor said she'd be a while But you need those questions answered so you hold on The sun and moon have come and gone But on the bright side The cafeteria opens soon It's been sixteen hours When's someone gonna tell me something Anything I don't even need details Sixteen hours When's someone gonna tell me something Anything I don't even need details Sixteen hours When's someone gonna tell me something Anything I don't even need details Sixteen hours It's been sixteen hours It's been sixteen Hours Pace in a circle waitin' And curse these fluorescent lights "No News Is Good News" they say you'll break this door with your eyes
6.
Lookin out the window You see the sun's up It was all a dream perhaps Colors are all desaturated Were they always like this or Did you just finally snap And you're better off alone than with people who belittle you And gaslight you And make you feel unsafe Why spend 3 months with someone who can't be Bothered to stop saying transphobic shit And you try You fool You try to find the good in them still But you're free do this your way And you're free to try till your heart just gives out And you're free to learn the hard way Some people are just assholes And they don't deserve your time The very next day you feel lighter than air Your friends can't believe what you said It's somehow wrong to tell people That they're killing your soul And scarring your head Cuz you're better off alone than with people who Are spreading hate And live afraid Of those with different skin Why waste a breath on someone who can't be Bothered to stop being misogynist trash And they try Those fools They try to Tell you they're good deep inside You were free to do this your way You were free to try till your heart just gave out And you had to learn the hard way Some people are just assholes And they don't wanna change Some people are just assholes And you don't owe 'em anything
7.
The day was off to a good start A lead, a sale, a raise but brain fills with intrusive thoughts And all good things erased Someone compliments your work It makes you hesitate You know somehow that shoe will drop And kill you while you wait But Hold on This isn’t you talkin' For so long You were raised to believe that your brain can't be wrong but it’s So wrong You gotta stop listenin' And find your worth Every win comes with a shock Time and time again Ticking borrowed time till you're Abandoned by your friends Cuz someday they will find you out Someday they'll see you For this bed of trash you are Who cannot follow through You cannot follow through But Hold on This isn’t you talkin' For so long You were raised to believe that your brain can't be wrong but it’s So wrong You gotta stop listenin' And find your worth Block it out You need to some how And when you're down Know that There's only you and you're good enough And you've earned all these things that you're good at There's only you and you're good enough You'll be the best you, you're good enough Wait and see Wait and see
8.
Facing all these things that we've broken Scares you inside-out for a moment But deep breath in Chin up We got this far It's time to finish what we all started With bruises, bleeding limbs, broken hearted But all Together now We got this far They say that we'll disappear But the math that they do to get here doesn't check out They're waiting for the all clear From superstitions and fears But the weight of it all is gone from our necks Blink once or twice and it's over And sure you're beaten down and feel older But against all odds and reason Here we are They said that we'd disappear And proving them wrong shouldn't feel this good They're waiting for the all clear From superstitions and fears And the weight of this is all is gone from our necks
9.
Eyes twitch Throat dry The more you stare the more aware of this Lie You say that we're wasting our time but it's the only thing we've got And what devours these frozen hours says we're right Didn’t want to be right. But you say that you remember All these things that Should've kept us weathered But all you've got are fuzzy photographs And a promise of relief that Will never come to visit And why would it The evidence just isn't Proof enough that when we weigh that shit You can tell me that it's worth it. Time it out It's been over ten years now And instead of re-livin' this We smile Cuz it's easier to just evade And pretend it's all ok The odds of us all right here Were slim and it's easier to just Stop Cuz I don't even know you This person you're supposed to be Is quite dead And wait I shouldn't even know this You're fuckin' up the process For me instead But you tell me you remember All these things that You were never there for so we pull out fuzzy photographs And we're starting to believe that When you tell me you remember All these things that You couldn't have been there for And finally we weigh that shit And we're starting to believe it
10.
Cosmic Wound 05:25
Rising frustrations Lasting implications it’s done The hardest part was thinking that we had more time "Spur of the moment" Yet they had to know that we’d die The hardest part was having friends who believed That lie But on their face They realize that their mistakes are alive And created this wound But fear misplaced They’re searching for someone to blame for the lie That created this wound But hold on We’ll get back to rage in a moment It’s ok to feel fucken broken That’s no reflection on you but it’s okay We may not feel very hopeful But we’ll burn these fuckers down wholesale Before they get started on you Completely surprising how Dehumanizing it feels The hardest part was caring if We’d stoop to their low Civil innuendo Gets thrown out the window with glee The hardest part was knowing this Hate comes naturally You see their face They’re quickly learning their mistakes are alive They’ve created this wound With baited breath They’re justifying countless death for the lie That created this wound But hold on We’ll get back to rage in a moment It’s ok to feel fucken broken That’s no reflection on you But it’s okay We may not be very hopeful But we’ll burn these fuckers down wholesale Before they get started on you But hold on We'll get back to rage in a moment It's ok to feel fucken broken It's ok to feel fucken broken But hold on We’ll get back to rage in a moment It’s ok to feel fucken broken That’s no reflection on you But it’s okay We may not feel very hopeful But we’ll burn these fuckers down wholesale Before they get started on you
11.
The Plan 03:57
In the cover of the night I'll take the guards on the left and you'll take right If we pull this off those dogs won't even know We’ll be keepin’ out of sight Silhouettes dancin’ past The lantern light Halls of decadence with emptiness below They say that wrongs can't make a right Guess it all depends on yer definition But the people making rules like that are never at risk They sure thought we wouldn't fight Well surprise! Can’t believe that we’re inside Months of planning and some intense Overtime Standing toe to toe with opulence and wealth Don’t they know that people die Every day based on things that they decide But this ivory tower’s temptations have swelled They say wrongs can’t make a right I guess that all depends on your definition But the people makin rules like that are never at risk They sure thought we wouldn’t fight Well…surprise! Stick to the plan This world you don't believe in But I think it's time we're leavin' And we don't belong But where do we go From here? Please respond Where do we go From here?
12.
N/A [Instrumental]

about

"Twelve Months" is a year long songwriting project spurred by a last minute decision in January of 2018 by Mike where the band would receive 3 randomized restrictions at the start of each month and have to write, record and produce a song (and performance video) for each song before that month was out. It wouldn't have been possible without the support of the amazing members of the band and our special guests.

The project features:

Josh Hotlosz on bass, Alan Chen on violin, Abe Myers on lead guitar, Erin Keely on vocals, Delicaye Shirley-Donnelly on vocals, Joey Guthrie on drums, percussion, piano and moral support, and lastly Mike Shirley-Donnelly on vocals, guitars, gameboys, keys and Frankensteining all of these things together from various locations around California and Washington.

ALSO it wouldn't have been possible without the support of our families, loved ones and friends, most notably:

E+P
Sarah Guthrie
Nick Machado
Yvonne Chen
Jenn Liu
Renee Porter and David Hotlosz
Yerba Buena High School Performing Arts Department
Music Ink Studios
Dan Vado and the Art Boutiki Music Hall
Loni Lonzo
Robert Eugene Bradley
Brandon and Erin Hood
8bitSF and 8BitLA
Pat Griffin
Jared Milos
The Cats of the Desert Art Colony
Benji and Freddie (RIP)

credits

released February 12, 2019

All songs written*, mixed, mastered and produced by Mike Shirley-Donnelly and performed by Curious Quail;

*Abandon Ship co-written with Alan Chen
*One Thousand Lies co-written with Alan Chen and Joey Guthrie
*Fuzzy Photographs co-written with Joey Guthrie
*Retrospection arranged by Joey Guthrie as a reprise medley of every other song on the record

Recorded at The Desert Art Colony in Palm Springs, California, The Quailcave and ManBoyCave in San José, California and Music Quest in Vancouver, Washington as well as various homes and living rooms.

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Curious Quail New Haven, Connecticut

Curious Quail is an orchestral + chiptune indie collective with members in the San Francisco Bay Area, the Pacific Northwest and southern New England that mix fuzzy guitar rock, orchestral instrumentation and music made with Nintendo Gameboys.

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